I wish I had known that I could shake off this debilitating fear just by changing what I ate. Up until a year ago I had never heard of Paleo or Primal until a good friend suggested I tried it to help with my constant nausea, I have never looked back. The nausea went and so did a myriad of other niggling health issues.
Please share this post with anyone you know who is suffering with any fears. I believe that the brain and the gut are one and if the gut is out of whack, so is the mind. Unhealthy people are unhappy people. I believe this may be due to chronic inflammation, which is caused by eating a standard Australian diet of refined carbohydrates, gluten, chemicals, sugar and trans fats.
In this blog I am going to share with you the methods I used to overcome my fear of flying and I will list the resources here, so that if you want to try them, you can.
Fear: Two Ways
First Approach: Heal the Gut
I believe that a fear needs to be approached two ways. Firstly you need to treat the cause of the fear, for me this was gut dysbiosis and I believe that many fears, depression, phobias and the like are caused simply by an imbalance in the gut, that is, too many of the bad guys (parasites, candida, bad bacteria) and not enough of the good guys (good bacteria). I restored my gut health (and still am, I believe gut health is a work in progress, a practice, there is no quick 're set') like this:
Elimination: I eliminated the common gut aggravators grains, sugar, alcohol, dairy and legumes for a period of thirty days. After thirty days I felt I had reached a base point and played around with re introducing the aggravators back into my diet. I found I could tolerate small amounts of dairy, a splash of milk in my tea, a tablespoon of sour cream on top of my chilli, a blob of organic yogurt on my pancakes, but if I drank coffee with milk as I used to for more than the odd occasion, I would probably end up constipated. I learned that gluten and alcohol were my gut's two worst enemies and that I could tolerate some alcohol but only when I was totally relaxed, and to drink way way less than I had in the past! Each of us is different, it's up to you to work out what does and doesn't work for you. Give it a try, take control.
Soothing & Healing: Initially I took L Glutamine from my Naturopath which helps to heal the gut wall and reduce the leakiness of my gut, now I make and drink Bone Broth (rich in Glutamine) regularly (every day if it's made) and I cook with it using it in place of stock to improve the healing power of our every day meals.
Weeding & Feeding: My Naturopath gave me some Ultra Flora Restore to proliferate my gut with good bacteria, then we went in with some anti microbial, anti parasitic herbs to help kill off any pathogenic bacteria, parasites and candida. I now eat coconut oil daily (anti microbial) and eat fermented veggies and drink Kombucha regularly to help with the influx of the good bacteria.
2nd Approach: Facing the Fear
Fear is a mind set that is learned and practiced and to overcome our fear, whatever the fear is, we need to unlearn it!
Before going primal (changing my diet and lifestyle) I had tried many ways to tackle this fear of flying, it was causing me many problems. I am from the UK and live in Australia, I have travelled the world, have loved flying - and now suddenly the fear of boarding a plane had grown organically over the years to mean that taking any public transport caused a fear, even taking a ride in someone else's car made me feel sick! It was ridiculous and I knew it, but felt helpless.
I had been to see a Psychologist who suggested counting backwards in 3s to give my brain something to do other than focus on the fear. I had tried positive affirmations, thinking the right thoughts to create my reality, I read 'Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway', actually, that was a really good book! In Feel the Fear I learned that basically everyone is afraid of something, that the only way to deal with a fear is to face it and that once the fear is faced and overcome you stand much taller.
I also learned that a life spent worrying about something is far worst than confronting the fear itself.
And so it was, my fear of flying wouldn't budge and I wasn't going anywhere.
Then, strangely once I was a few months into my primal lifestyle, it wasn't very long, maybe two or three months, I started to get that feeling....you know....that feeling like you want to explore and adventure and GO SOMEWHERE! Boy oh boy this was nice, I felt like the 27 year old girl who went travelling around the world on her own, not the 30 something mother who got travel sick on a swing!
I started with a few trips to the City, which is a five hour drive away and was relieved that I didn't feel sick and then I decided to face the fear once and for all and with my 40th birthday approaching, I booked tickets to fly to England! With a five hour drive, a seven hour flight, two hour lay over and eleven hour flight, this was a good challenge! I decided to take my seven year old son with me too.
I knew I was going at this point and I just played with a few techniques to help me deal with the stress of the actual confronting the fear, there are some good ideas in here, I really hope they help you!
Pushing My Comfort Zone
When you are feeling nauseous all of the time, you keep life fairly simple and you make sure you are in control, so that if the feelings of nausea get out of hand, you can get out of there stat! Now I wasn't feeling nauseous anymore, thanks to my delicious primal eating, I did things that made me feel uncomfortable to test myself! I went to an ecstatic dance (where you dance for 2 hours in a room of strangers whilst being completely sober). I did a few more trips to the City and took my handful of a five year old along just to really push things. I took up dance classes. I accepted lifts in friends cars (haha I know, I was really THAT bad!) I went on the swings. So far so good. Of course you don't have to do all of these things, these are just examples, you will know what you need to do.
Desensitizing
I looked at on board pictures of airplanes and imagined myself sitting there. I avoided any negative shows about the horrors of planes! I drove to Perth and walked around the airport and worked out where I would have to park, where the gate was and whether there was anything I could eat at the aiport (no). Whilst I was in the UK I had no choice but to experience travel by train, boat, bus and tube - all good experience!
Meditation
Meditation in general reduced the amygdala which is the part of the brain that processes silly things like fear. So I meditated most days as much as I could - my favourite is a podcast called Meditation Oasis but I also found an amazing Fear of Flying podcast by Dr Puff, which I listened to daily for about a month before I left, I listened to it at the airport and during the first flight, you can listen to it here.
Yoga
Yoga has been a huge part of my healing process, away from chronic cardio and cortisol inducing gym sessions and I found this great practice for fear, Yoga Download offers free 20 minute yoga classes which I download onto my phone and practice on the lawn. There is also another good session about twisting out negativity and doubt.
Podcasts
There is a whole free podcast dedicated to overcoming Fear of Flying- you see, we are not alone. This deals with all aspects of flying fears from safety, turbulence to claustrophobia. You can download that here.
I listened to the song 'Let It Go"
This wasn't by choice might I add, but it was an incidental and very releasing song to have to listen to (maybe a few too many times thanks Milly). There is a lot of sense in those lyrics! Elsa even sings about becoming one with the wind and skies!! Elsa also sings about the agony of having to wait to confront her biggest fear.
Herbal Remedies
My Naturopath gave me some NeuroCalm which are an all natural herbal remedy for handling stress. Apparently they worked for a woman who could not fly without Valium. They worked for me! (I'm not the valium woman by the way!)
Aromatherapy Remedies
My friend's Mum put me onto this lovely aromatherapy spray which has things like lavender in it, it smelt nice and calming and I sprayed it on me a day before the flight on whilst on board.
Squeaky Clean Eating Before Departure
I knew this fear originated in my gut so I kept the gut happy by going grog free for a couple of weeks before I left and just ate clean as I could.
EFT Tapping
Have you tried this? Pretty much everyone knows it, but you forget about things over time. My friend Joss reminded me of this little beauty of a technique and when my mind started to race I did some tapping "even though I am nervous about flying I deeply and completely accept myself anyway".
I spoke to people about my fear
Turns out I was not alone, turns out that not many people relish the thought of a whole day of being stuck on a plane, turned out I was normal and that I just had to do my best to deal with the situation. I also spoke to people with gut issues and one friend in particular who said she had to do an emergency flight to the UK when she had major gut problems, the flight was horrific. However once she was back in fine gut health, flying was no problem. This was comforting, validating my theory.
I decided to enjoy the flight
This was my Mam's idea. My Mam flies to see us in Australia every year. I downloaded some podcasts to listen to, packed a pamper kit with hand cream and lip balm and stuff to nurture myself with, I packed some earplugs, took my pillow on board and wore my comfy clothes. I packed some of my lovely Paleo food to take with me so I could avoid the crappy plane food.
So how did I go?
I did it. It's a few days since I got back and I feel a major sense of achievement and feel like a big weight has been lifted. I am contemplating a trip to New Zealand in the new year. I wouldn't say I loved the flight, but it was bearable, with pleasant parts. There were moments, a few nerves in the departure lounge but all was fine once on board and in the sky, sometimes it's the worrying about it that's worse than the actual doing, the hanging around waiting to board being the most tense of the times. When I landed back in Australia I had a three major stressful things happen to me in a row! My visa had expired and I was at risk of being returned to England. I lost my car in the car park and when I found it the battery was flat, so I was stranded in the cold and dark with my son. The following morning my boot closed on my head and gave me a bloody head injury. I was surprised at my ability to remain present and think through solutions (after a few tears and f bombs were dropped) I was thinking WTF! What is this happening for and then I realised. The Universe wanted me to know that 'whatever happens, I'll handle it' and that is also a very good affirmation for you to try.
I hope you enjoyed this blog and really hope it resonates with you and brings some resource or comfort to you. Please share with anyone you known living under the shadow of fear or anxiety.
I am available for consultation to discuss how to implement some of the ideas above into your life. You can contact me at primalsoapbox@gmail.com
Sam & I aboard our first flight from Australia to Dubai
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